


on your wedding day

by floweryoonoh



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-25
Updated: 2019-07-25
Packaged: 2020-07-19 13:15:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19974673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/floweryoonoh/pseuds/floweryoonoh
Summary: Taeyong receives an invitation to his first love's wedding, and he realizes that maybe it is time to finally move on from the love that broke his heart.





	on your wedding day

**Author's Note:**

> this is a result of having a fever and listening too many sad songs, hope you like it!  
> btw english is not my first language, i tried my best  
> (title and the main idea of the plot was inspired by the korean film "on your wedding day")

“Did you get an invitation?”

Yuta’s voice was subdued. Maybe he was too far from his phone for it to catch all those details in man’s voice. Taeyong frowned as he was moving his notes all around kitchen table.

“I did.” Taeyong saw no point in pretending he had no idea about invitations. Or that he didn’t get one.

“Are you thinking of going?” Yuta asked louder than previously and Taeyong sighed deeply. “Sorry, I’m cooking and the phone is too far. I don’t know if you hear me.”

“I do. Don’t scream. I haven’t slept well.”

“New collection?”

“You could say.” It was not a lie. Taeyong really was busy with designing last night. After he cried for solid three hours.

“Okay. So are you going?”

“I mean— They invited me. They must want me to be there. I mean at least _him_.”

“Don’t you think it will be too awkward? It’s your ex wedding we are talking about. Besides, what if his fiancé is not okay with it, but he agreed because Jaehyun whined so much?”

“Guess I will find out on their wedding day. I’m hanging up now.” Taeyong ended the phone call and put the device on the table.

He sat at the chair and stared at his hand covered in paints and marks from pencil. Taeyong looked at drawing of his lover and smiled sadly. It would break his heart. He would be devastated. But he decided to attend his wedding.

After all this time Taeyong still had hope Jaehyun would come back.

***

Taeyong’s hands were sweaty and he looked around nervously. He was supposed to meet his friend in the café they both adored. But this time was different. Taeyong was playing with the letter he wrote for Jaehyun.

Taeyong was too much of a coward to say it out loud.

Taeyong was too afraid to admit that he fell for Jaehyun.

Taeyong hoped a letter was more than enough for younger boy.

He looked up when he heard door squeaking. Taeyong smiled when he saw it was Jaehyun. Panting and scanning the room to find Taeyong who was waiting with two cups of lavender tea. He waved at Jung who smiled, his dimples showing.

“Hi hyung.” Jaehyun said, sitting down besides Taeyong. He smiled seeing a cup of his favourite tea. He took it in both of his hands and sipped.

Taeyong’s heart skipped some beats, he felt strange feeling in his stomach. How did people call it? Butterflies? Taeyong didn’t think he had butterflies in his stomach. It was more of a little monster who jumped all over it signalizing that his body thought it was a stupid idea. Taeyong was a fool when it came to love and Jaehyun. And now those two were connected in some strange way.

Taeyong didn’t plan on falling in love with his best friend. He really didn’t. But one day he was watching how younger boy was making his coffee, his eyes half opened. He was yawning all the time, not wearing a shirt. Taeyong tried really hard to be focused on what Yuta was saying but he kept coming back to Jaehyun and his sleepy voice, when he answered a question where he was the whole night.

That morning Taeyong realized two things.

It was really hard to walk with a boner.

And he was in love with Jaehyun.

And there he was.

Jaehyun was focused on warming his cold hands. Taeyong kept playing with his letter, not sure how to began this conversation. Yuta suggested that he said everything he had on his chest, but the problem was Taeyong had no idea where to start. Or how to articulate his thoughts.

He had no idea how to say that he was in love with his best friend. Or if it was even love in the first place.

“What is it, hyung? You look uneasy.” Jaehyun tilted his head and worried he frowned. Taeyong gulped and looked at his hands and the letter written on pinkish paper. “What are you holding?”

“It’s— um, it’s for you, I suppose.” Taeyong said quietly and the intonation made it seem like it was a question.

“You are not sure it’s for me? You don’t have to give it to me, if you don’t want to!” Jaehyun looked surprised and blinked a couple of times. Taeyong smiled awkwardly and looked at the letter again.

“I want to, it’s just— Can you read it after I leave?”

“What? Why—“

“Please, Jaehyun. Promise me you will read it when I leave the café.” Taeyong looked Jaehyun in the eyes and bit his lower lip. A little shocked Jaehyun nodded his head.

Taeyong gave him a piece of paper, stood up and left the café quickly. When he felt the wind hit his face, he dared to look behind himself. Jaehyun was looking at him, and then he looked at the letter. He opened it carefully and began to read.

Taeyong gulped and walked to metro station. He hoped it will turn out just fine. He hoped he hadn’t loose Jaehyun. Being his friend should have been enough for him. He shouldn’t have wanted anything above that. He should have been content. But the thing was, it was far from what he wanted. And it hurt him every time he looked at Jaehyun. Taeyong craved more. Taeyong longed for something more with Jaehyun.

And Taeyong hoped younger boy wanted the same.

***

Taeyong looked at himself in the mirror and fixed his tie. Yuta stared at his back and shook his head.

“It’s a bad idea and you know it.”

“Yuta, quit it. I can’t back off now. Besides,” Taeyong said softly while looking for the perfect rings, “I’m over him. I don’t love him anymore.”

Yuta just stared in disbelieve. Taeyong caught his stare in a mirror and raised his brow. Yuta closed his mouth and shrugged, as if he was saying it was none of his business. But Taeyong knew his friend.

“If you say so, sweetie. Are you ready? My chauffer can’t wait forever.”

“Your chauffer?”

“Sorn. She is coming as well. And she can’t drink so she offered to drive us there. Just hurry the fuck up. I don’t want her to wait.” Yuta rolled his eyes and was about run fingers through his hair when he realized he would mess them up.

“You look beautiful, Nayu.” Taeyong said softly and Yuta smiled. He hugged Taeyong from behind and kissed his head.

“You look ethereal, Yongie. Now hurry up.” Yuta patted his back and left the room. Taeyong looked at himself in the mirror and sighed.

Taeyong was going to regret his choice.

He already regretted it.

He took some rings, not paying attention if they were going to suit his outfit. Taeyong was too caught up with his thoughts. Painful memories rushed through his brain when he remembered how Jaehyun kissed him, hugged him or loved him.

_Jaehyun wasn’t his anymore._

***

It had been three days.

Taeyong really tried to be calm but he was terrified.

What if Jaehyun didn’t feel the same?

What if Jaehyun started to hate Taeyong?

What if Jaehyun decided to end their friendship because he was disgusted with Taeyong?

What if—

“Stop making those sad eyes, I’m trying to eat.” Taeyong looked up at Yuta who was focused on his plate.

“I’m sorry but—“

“But you don’t understand Yuta! I love him and what if he doesn’t feel the same?” Yuta mocked the way Taeyong whined. Taeyong frowned at his friend, and Yuta finally looked at him. “Then he doesn’t feel the same. You can’t make people fall in love with you.”

“But I can try.” Taeyong said weakly. Shaking his head, Yuta sighed deeply.

“If you say so.”

It was the end of the conversation for Yuta, but not for Taeyong.

“Don’t be a bitch, you should—“ Taeyong stopped midsentence when he saw Jaehyun walk in the apartment. Jung stopped when he spotted Taeyong and looked at Yuta with annoyance.

“You didn’t mention we will have a guest, hyung.” Jaehyun didn’t sound angry. It was a good sign, right?

“Because I didn’t know myself until I opened the door.” Yuta said bored lifting one of the noodles and studying it as if it was one of those precious painting he adored so much.

“Right. I will be in my room, if any of you need me.” Jaehyun didn’t even spare Taeyong a glance. He walked to his room and slammed the door.

“Do you think—“

“I don’t know Taeyong. Go and ask him.” Yuta looked at Taeyong. “Don’t be a coward.”

“I don’t mind being a coward, you know?”

“Oh so you are fine with not knowing whether he loves you? Okay then.” Yuta got up and started to look for something. Taeyong watched him, asking himself if he was fine with it.

Of course not.

Taeyong got up and marched to Jaehyun’s room. He didn’t dare to look at Yuta. Taeyong was sure his friend smiled at his action, happy he decided to find his answers.

Taeyong knocked on the door and Jaehyun opened it exactly after ten seconds. They stared at each other until Jaehyun moved a little, inviting Taeyong to his room. Hearing how quietly Jaehyun closed the door, Taeyong relaxed. Maybe he wasn’t so mad at him for confessing.

“I’m sorry Jaehyun.” Taeyong said and looked at Jaehyun who walked to his desk. He collected his papers and didn’t say a word. “I didn’t—“

“What are you apologizing for?” Jaehyun’s voice was full of tension. Taeyong gulped. He shouldn’t have written the latter. And he shouldn’t have confessing.

“I– I don’t know. Confessing?” Taeyong frowned at his own voice. Jaehyun looked at him, his hair falling on his eyes. He run fingers through them and Taeyong’s heart ached. He wished he could do that.

“Are you regretting it?” Jaehyun asked curios. Taeyong felt his hands shake slightly so he clenched them into fists.

Taeyong wished he wasn’t such a fool when it came to love and Jaehyun.

“How could I regret finally admitting that I have fallen for you? It’s the greatest thing that happened to me. I can’t possibly regret my love for you or my confession. The only thing I regret is that it took me so long to realize how I felt. And if you decide that you can’t love the way I love you, and you decide to walk away, I will accept your decision. Even if it breaks my heart. Even if it ruins me. I wish I could lie that it will be fine, I mean, being just friends. But I can’t. If you say now you want be just friends, I will walk away. I can’t be friends with you after I realized I love you. I love the stars you have in your eyes. I love galaxies in your soul. I love you Jung Jaehyun and I will never be sorry for that.”

Jaehyun just stared at him, not saying a word for a moment. Taeyong was terrified. Showing his heart and soul was never easy, especially when it was Jaehyun who listened. Finally Jaehyun walked slowly to Taeyong, cupped his face and gently kissed him. Taeyong didn’t close his eyes in fear it was just a dream.

And if it was a dream, he didn’t want to wake up.

“Don’t apologize, Yongie.” Jaehyun whispered into Taeyong’s lips and kissed him once again. Taeyong clung to Jaehyun like he was the only thing that could keep him on the surface. As if Jaehyun was saving him from drowning.

Their kisses were gentle, slow and full of unspoken feelings. Jaehyun hoped those kisses were enough as an answer to the question Taeyong asked in his letter.

_Can you be mine?_

“I’m yours, Yongie.” Jaehyun said and smiled cutely, gently caressing skin on Taeyong’s cheeks. “Only yours.”

***

Yuta and Sorn were sitting next to each other, holding hands and laughing at something.

Taeyong decided that he wasn’t ready to sit just yet so he stood next to the entrance of small house. Taeyong was sure that somewhere in that house Jaehyun and his soon-to-be husband were getting ready. Taeyong kept on staring at his friend and he smiled when Yuta kissed Sorn’s hand. She laughed at him at hit his arm.

Taeyong envied him.

His friend was in love and the other person loved him back. They had plans for the wedding, they even planned on adopting a child. Taeyong wished it was him and Jaehyun. But it couldn’t be them. Not anymore.

At least Yuta got to have a happy ending.

Someone bumped into Taeyong. He was ready to swear at this person when he heard a panicked voice.

“I’m so sorry, I wasn’t paying attention, are you alright?” The boy looked scared and Taeyong tried to smile honestly.

“Yes, it’s nothing.” Taeyong said and looked at his shoulder. It seemed that his clothes weren’t damaged. The stranger nodded and looked at the guests who were already sitting, talking, laughing or glancing if any of the grooms walked out of the house.

“Are you Jaehyun’s or Doyoung’s friend?” The stranger asked him after a moment, still standing next to him. Taeyong felt pain at this question and sighed deeply.

“Jaehyun’s friend. I mean– It’s complicated. And you?” Taeyong though it was polite to ask the same question. Not that he particularly cared.

After their ways parted, Taeyong didn’t pay attention to anything related to Jaehyun. He would turn off the radio if they mentioned his restaurants. He would ask Yuta to shut up when he mentioned how Jaehyun was doing. He would leave the room if Sorn brought up the topic of Jaehyun and his new boyfriend. He tried to erase Jung Jaehyun from his life but the past they shared wasn’t something he could easily forget by drinking too much and fucking too many random people.

“I’m friends with Doyoung. He used to teach me Korean when I first moved here.” The stranger smiled brightly and it made Taeyong feel something warm inside. “I was really bad, you know? And my friends had no time, but Doyoung lived next door and once one of my friends asked him if he could help me with groceries since I only knew basic phrases, and he agreed. After it he decided to teach me until I was good enough to take care of basic things myself.”

“Doyoung sounds like a caring person.” Taeyong said and smiled weakly. The stranger nodded and smiled cutely.

“He really is. If it wasn’t for him I wouldn’t be a baseball player. But that is the story for a different time.” The stranger laughed at his words. The boy seemed to be fond of Doyoung, Taeyong thought and tried to smile. It was hard to hate Doyoung when his friend had those sparks in his eyes when he talked about him. “By the way, I’m Yuto.”

“And I’m Taeyong. Nice to meet you.” Taeyong watched Yuto’s reaction to his name. He still had a smile on his face, and Taeyong wondered if he ever heard of him. And if yes, why would he have this kind expression on his face?

“I should go to my sit. My friends will be mad if I will be so late. See you later, I hope.” Yuto said and marched to some group of loud people who were probably arguing how they should sit.

Taeyong shook his head and looked at the door. Jaehyun’s parents walked out with another couple around their age. Doyoung’s parents. Jaehyun’s mother spotted him and smiled, walking in his direction. Taeyong wanted to run away but it was too late. His first love’s mother hugged him tightly and the only thing he could do, was hug her back.

“Taeyongie! What a surprise! We weren’t sure if you would make it.” Hyekyung smiled and gently stroke Taeyong’s hair, making sure not to ruin them.

“We?”

“Mom?” Hyekyung turned around and Taeyong looked at the man who stood at the door. It wasn’t Jaehyun. So it had to be—

“Doyoung, sweetie, is everything alright?” Kyekyung asked worried, approaching him and Doyoung reassured her, everything was fine. It was just Jaehyun who had some problems with his suit. After Jaehyun’s mother walked into the house, telling Taeyong they would talk later, Doyoung looked at him.

_Please, Jaehyun, I beg you. Please, please, please. I hope you never mentioned me or told him about what we had and what we shared. Please, my love, I beg you._

Doyoung just tilted his head to the side, before entering the house. Taeyong let out a long breath and walked to Yuta and Sorn.

“What took you so long?” Yuta asked worried when Taeyong sat beside the couple. He looked at them and smiled the widest he could. Sorn raised her brows at him, and Yuta frowned.

“Nothing. Now, quiet. The wedding is about to start.”

***

The night was cold and wind blew their hair, when they walked, their fingers interlocked together. Taeyong’s heart was beating so loud, he was surprised Jaehyun didn’t hear it.

They were together for almost a year, but it didn’t made Taeyong’s heart beat any slower when Jaehyun touched him.

Jaehyun suddenly kissed Taeyong and laughed into his boyfriend’s lips. Taeyong just smiled at it and put his hand on the back of Jaehyun’s neck. It was perfect. It was good. Taeyong hoped they stayed like this forever.

“Yongie?” Jaehyun asked when Taeyong kissed his jaw’s line. Taeyong just mumbled something which made Jaehyun laugh loudly. “Baby?”

“Okay, what? It is nice and you are ruining the—“ Jaehyun kissed him and Taeyong smiled into the kiss, standing closer to his love.

“Let’s go home.” Jaehyun murmured and gently caressed Taeyong’s lips with his thumb.

“And what will we do there, mister?” Taeyong smiled widely and Jaehyun just shook his head with a smile.

“I can think of a thing or two.” Jaehyun teased and started walking. Taeyong run after him and hugged him from behind. Jaehyun laughed and looked behind himself. “What a baby.”

“But your baby.”

“Yes. My baby.”

***

The ceremony was too long if anyone asked Taeyong. However his judgement could be clouded by the fact he looked the love of his life promise his love, time, future, bad and good days to someone else.

That could be a reason. But Taeyong wouldn’t admit it.

Time for vows came too fast and Taeyong was thinking of leaving, but Yuta put his hand on his thigh as if he made sure Taeyong didn’t run away. Or maybe he did it because he imagined how hard it was for Taeyong.

Taeyong had to listen how someone he once loved told those cheesy words to someone who wasn’t him.

Taeyong had to listen how someone who wasn’t him promised Jaehyun his soul and heart.

Every guest watched how Jaehyun looked for something in his pockets, giggling nervously. Taeyong immediately thought how he would roll his eyes and smile at Jaehyun’s clumsiness. Doyoung however smiled with so much love and said something quietly. Jaehyun closed his eyes and checked the inside pocket of his blazer.

“As you see I would be lost if it wasn’t for him.” Jaehyun said to the microphone and everyone laughed, when Jaehyun was taking out a piece of paper out of his pocket. Taeyong tried to laugh, but he couldn’t. The sound simply couldn’t leave his mouth. And if it did, it would be a cry.

Taeyong fixed his eyes on Doyoung who smiled shyly, but it made him seem cuter. But Taeyong could still see that he watched Jaehyun with so much love. It ached. It was too painful.

“Yuta, I—“

“It’s okay.” Yuta whispered back and squeezed Taeyong’s thigh.

“Doyoung, I don’t know where to start.”Jaehyun’s voice was shaky. The vow was written on a lilac piece of paper. Taeyong closed his eyes, when his stomach twisted at it. He was happy it wasn’t pink. He was sad it wasn’t pink.

“I didn’t know that it would be you. The first time I met you I had no idea that someday I would say “I do”. Everyone says they knew it would be this person. Even my dad says he knew from the moment he saw my mom. I didn’t. When I met you for the first time I had no idea I would get to love you and to be loved by you. I found out two years later, during this one night.” Jaehyun smiled at Doyoung who was blushing, but giggling at the same time, trying to keep the eye contact. “Because children are present, I will just mention that I realized it was you when you opened those beautiful eyes. Do you remember what you told me?”

“Yes, but I will pretend I don’t so you can say it.” Doyoung’s voice was warm and filled with happiness and love. Taeyong couldn’t hate him. He simply couldn’t. He could try, at least.

“You were so sleepy. You could barely keep your eyes opened and you smiled so tired and just tucked yourself with a blanket. And I watched you, amazed with how beautiful you looked and then you said “I dreamt of you”. Obviously I asked what exactly you dreamt of and you yawned. And then you said you dreamt of me surrounded by sunflowers. And before I could say anything, you added that you dreamt of you two favourite things. Sunflowers and me. I suppose it was the moment I began to fall for you. And I guess you knew. I was always obvious.”

Taeyong closed his eyes, trying to remember if Jaehyun was ever obvious with him. He couldn’t remember any of those moments. Maybe Jaehyun was obvious only with Doyoung.

“I could never hide things from you and you soon realize. And then you confessed. And I was blessed. I could never ask for anything better. Loving you and being loved by you. It’s a blessing Doyoung. You are my blessing. Even if I didn’t know at first. I thank every star in the universe that they allowed us to love each other. I could never ask for the better thing, Doyoung. Thank you for everything you already gave me and everything you will give me in the future.”

Taeyong felt tears in his eyes and he tried to wipe it without notifying anyone. Sorn gave him a tissue and without a word, Taeyong accepted it.

It was too much. Hearing how his first love said things like that to someone who wasn’t him. It broke Taeyong a little.

“Cheesy.” Taeyong looked at Doyoung who was grinning. “But you are the cheesy one in our marriage. It sounds weird, doesn’t it? We are almost married, Jaehyun. It’s the best day of my life. Or maybe the second best.”

Surprised, Taeyong raised his brows. What could be better than marrying someone you love?

“I think the best day of my life was when we finally stopped playing. When you confronted me. When you made me say that I love you. Because I know you knew. And I knew you loved me back. I still remember how we were making pizza and out of blue you asked if I loved you. I was so shocked I cut myself. You were panicking and I let you take care of me. I remember those worried and sad eyes and then it clicked. I just said that I loved you. Even though at first I wanted to confess in more romantic way. But we were never type of romantic couple. We ruin everything romantic, because we are just like that.” Doyoung smiled at Jaehyun’s laughter and Taeyong looked at Yuta who was watching him.

“Thank you, Yoonoh. For everything you did, do and will do for me. I will never be able to tell how much I love you. Or how much you mean to me. I don’t know strong enough words to do it. And it’s fine. Because I know you know it all. Because just like you, I can’t hide anything from you. I’m too much in love with you to do so.”

At this point, Taeyong stood up from his seat and left, hoping no one would pay attention to him.

***

Two years.

Taeyong smiled, watching how Jaehyun was cooking at humming along to the song Taeyong played.

Two years.

“Babe?”

“Yes, Yongie?”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.” Jaehyun looked at him, smiling. He crunched his nose a little and got back to cooking.

Taeyong was so happy they lasted and he hoped they would last for so much longer. Maybe one day he would propose to Jaehyun and he would agree. Taeyong smiled at this thought, sipping his favourite wine. It would be amazing hearing yes from Jaehyun. It would be beautiful to tell him “I do”. It would be like a dream, waking up next to him for the rest of his life.

“What are you thinking about?” Jaehyun asked, sitting beside Taeyong with a glass of wine.

“Nothing special. Just you.” Taeyong smiled cutely and Jaehyun kissed him.

“So I’m nothing special, then?” Jaehyun teased and smiled, watching Taeyong became frustrated. “I’m joking, baby. I know my value.”

“I hope you do.” Taeyong smiled and kissed Jaehyun’s dimple. Jaehyun just giggled at this and kissed Taeyong again and again and again.

After the diner, Jaehyun made sure Taeyong felt how much he loved him. He praised him all night, giving him nothing but the pleasure. Taeyong had Jaehyun’s name on his lips all night, wanting to say so many things, but ending with not saying anything.

Taeyong knew they had time, so he could say all those things later, in the future they would share.

In the future they never got.

When the sun was rising, Taeyong was lying on Jaehyun’s chest. Jaehyun was asleep, his lips slightly agape. Taeyong smiled, watching his love sleeping so soundly. He gently touched his nose and Jaehyun sighed in his sleep. Smiling, Taeyong kissed his cheek.

It was perfect.

They were happy and in love.

Taeyong couldn’t imagine something more beautiful than them at that moment.

***

The hall was filled with lilac colour. Almost every single decoration was purple. Taeyong touched a balloon, thinking if it was his and Jaehyun’s wedding, everything would be pink. Maybe it would. Maybe it wouldn’t.

Taeyong looked at Yuta who stood next to him and stared at the balloons. They haven’t said a word since Taeyong escaped the wedding.

It was too much.

“Are you alright?” Yuta asked and snorted. “What a stupid question. Of course, you are not.”

“I’m sorry.”

“No need to. It’s on you. I told you it wouldn’t end well. Yet, you decided to come.” Yuta looked at Taeyong who pretended to be busy with admiring the decorations. “Why did you do that, Yongie?”

Taeyong gulped, knowing that if he confessed it would be over. He tried to convince himself the reasons why he came were not as idiotic as they were. That they were somehow normal. But they weren’t. They were messed up. They were foolish. But Taeyong was always a fool when it came to love and Jaehyun.

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Okay.” Yuta squeezed his shoulder and looked behind him. Taeyong followed his gaze and smiled when he saw Sorn dancing with Jaehyun’s cousin.

“I’m happy that you found her.”

“Thank you Yongie.”

They watched Sorn dance and laugh at the top of her lungs. Taeyong wished it was someone else.

Taeyong wished it was just another nightmare.

***

One month before their third anniversary they began to fall apart.

Taeyong tried to figure out what happened to them. He tried to fix them, not realizing that nothing could be fixed. Because nothing was broken. They just started to drift apart, and as much as they wanted to, there was nothing they could do.

Taeyong tried all he could to keep Jaehyun. Jaehyun, on the other hand, gave up.

“Taeyong, we need to talk.” Taeyong heard a day before their anniversary.

“It sounds serious.” He tried to joke but Jaehyun’s serious expression and pain in his eyes made him shut up. “Please, don’t.”

“Taeyong—“

“No, we can still work this out. I know we can. Just give—“

“Give us some more time, give us another chance, give us another try. Taeyong, I’m tired of this. I’m tired of giving us time, chances. We both know, that at this point, it’s pointless. We are hopeless. We can’t keep on going like this. Do you think I don’t see how much you’re hurting?” Jaehyun sounded desperate and Taeyong was still sure he could convince him. He could change his mind.

“Jaehyun, you will hurt me more if you let go.” Taeyong said angry and threw dishcloth in the sink. Jaehyun just watched him, his heart breaking.

“I tried. I really tried. I love you Taeyong, but it’s not the same—“

“Who is it?” Taeyong suddenly asked, even more angry. One of his friends once told him how he spotted Jaehyun with someone else. _They were acting, you know, too close to be just friends._

“What– Do you think I’m cheating on you?” The disbelief in Jaehyun’s voice seemed real. But if he really cheated on Taeyong, he could master lying.

“It has to be the reason, because I can’t think of anything else. I mean, we are happy, so why would you break up with me?” Taeyong was staring at the fridge and hoped Jaehyun would agree.

“I’m not cheating on you.” Jaehyun sounded exhausted and Taeyong looked at him. He didn’t deny them being happy. So maybe they still could fix this.

“My friend saw you with someone, being too friendly to be just friends.” Taeyong said and he wished he could take it back. Jaehyun looked as if Taeyong hit him. His lips parted and the shock on his face was too real.

“I can’t believe you, Lee Taeyong. I just fucking can’t believe. You are believing your friend and not me?” Jaehyun snorted loudly and got up.

“Jaehyun, just try to understand me.”

“Understand you?” Jaehyun slightly raised his voice and closed his eyes, taking deep breath. “You just accused me of cheating, how can I understand you?”

“Because I can’t think of anything else! We are happy!”

“Are we, Taeyong?” Jaehyun looked at Taeyong with sadness and disappointment. “How can we be happy if you even thought that I could cheat on you?”

“Jaehyun, please don’t say that.”

“You don’t even trust me anymore. Is that how happiness look like? Because if so, I’m done with it.”

“You can’t leave me.”

“You left me the moment you believed that I cheated on you.”

“I didn’t—“ Taeyong stopped midsentence and looked away from Jaehyun’s eyes. He couldn’t lie. Not to Jaehyun.

“I’m so sorry, Taeyong. I’m so sorry that we have to end like that. I truly loved you.” The past tense hurt but Taeyong tried not to cry. This bastard didn’t deserve any of his tears. “I still do. But not like I used to. I know you know it. And I know you also love me differently now.”

“Don’t you dare tell me what I feel and how I feel it.” Taeyong hissed and Jaehyun just watched him broken.

He wanted to end things more peacefully. Jaehyun believed Taeyong felt like their relationship was pointless too. But he was wrong. Taeyong still held on to the hope that they could work this out. But the truth was they couldn’t. Not after this conversation.

“I’m sorry, Taeyong.”

When Taeyong didn’t answer, Jaehyun took his stuff and left him alone in his kitchen. Taeyong looked at the clock and let out a shaky breath.

It was exactly twenty four hours to their third anniversary. They almost made it.

But almost was never enough for Taeyong.

***

“May I have this dance?” Taeyong looked up and gulped when he saw this gummy smile. He was avoiding meeting Kim Doyoung throughout the whole party, but you cannot outrun destiny.

Taeyong nodded, stood up and followed younger boy to the dance floor. All eyes were on them, Taeyong knew that. His and Jaehyun’s friends were watching them, as if they were worried Doyoung or Taeyong may do something stupid. Taeyong believed they weren’t wrong.

“You look lovely.” Doyoung said with a genuine smile and placed his hand on Taeyong’s waist. Taeyong immediately looked at Jaehyun who was watching them. There was so much love in his eyes and smile and Taeyong looked away, thinking it was too intimate for him to see.

“Not as lovely as you and Jaehyun.”

“Oh stop this nonsense. If it wasn’t our wedding no one would pay attention to us. All eyes would be on you.” Doyoung was leading him, and Taeyong didn’t mind. Dancing with a partner was never his cup of tea, and Doyoung seemed to know this. “I should thank you.”

“For what?”

“For coming. It means a lot.”

“Are you thanking every single of Jaehyun’s friends for coming?” Taeyong said with a weak smile and looked away, blushing. Doyoung watched him and his features soften immediately.

“No, just Jaehyun’s first love.” Doyoung whispered and Taeyong looked at younger man with shock. He knew.

Taeyong prayed that Doyoung didn’t know about their relationship, but maybe he was too stupid. There was no reason which would make Jaehyun keep quiet about them.

“Yes, I know. Jaehyun told me. I was so happy to meet you.”

“Why?”

“You shaped him. You left some scars on him. You changed him in so many ways, Taeyong. You could say, you are the one that made me fall for him. If it wasn’t for you,” Doyoung looked in Jaehyun’s direction and his sparks appeared in his eyes. Love, happiness, reassurance, and so much more. Taeyong looked at his first love just to see how he was making a faces and he looked at Doyoung again. Kim was giggling and shook his head with a gentle smiled that screamed “what an idiot”, “I wouldn’t promise him my future.”

“I– The reason I came was– Oh my–“

“I know. You came because of this weak hope that maybe when he had seen you, he would have changed his mind.” Doyoung looked at Taeyong. The happiness in his eyes was honest. He stated Taeyong darkest secret without pain or annoyance. He just said that in the way you say “It’s raining”. As if it was something obvious and normal.

“You should be furious about it. Why do you say it as if it was nothing?”

“Why should I be furious, Taeyong?”

“You know I wanted and I hoped your husband would leave you for me. You can’t—“

“I can do and feel what I want, Taeyong. And how can I be furious about his past when I’m his future?” Doyoung tilted his head to the side and watched Taeyong as he gently interlinked their fingers together. “If this was some competition, I would have won Taeyong. Without even trying.”

Taeyong couldn’t deny that. Kim Doyoung won without even trying to win. Taeyong was just a ghost of Jaehyun’s past whereas Doyoung was his bright future.

“I hope you two are happy.”

“We try to be. It doesn’t always work out.” Doyoung looked at Jaehyun again, deep in his thoughts. Taeyong could understand why Jaehyun had fallen for him. He could understand why he decided to marry him.

“Did he– He probably did, but did he tell you how we broke up?” Taeyong asked, and Doyoung looked at him. He nodded and Taeyong blushed. “You probably think the worst of me.”

“Actually I don’t. Jaehyun told me you accused him of cheating, but he also said it wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t his fault. It wasn’t one’s fault. It happened when you had a hard time, and you were frustrated and angry, and he was just tired. He said it you were meant to fall out of love sooner or later. He forgave you. That’s why he invited you to the wedding. To show you he was at peace with your history. He hoped you are too.”

“I am.” Taeyong said immediately and Doyoung raised his brows.

“If you say so.” Doyoung said after a while and he took a step back, smiling. “I believe my husband wants to talk to you. I will leave you two.”

Taeyong wanted to say something but Jaehyun came up to them, Doyoung kissed him on the cheek and walked away. Jaehyun looked after him with love and Taeyong looked away. _He used to look at me like that._

“Taeyong? Can we dance?” Jaehyun asked, when he couldn’t spot Doyoung anymore. He probably went to talk to someone from his family. He wanted to make sure everyone had a good time.

“Yes, why not?” Taeyong took Jaehyun’s hand the way he used years ago. It was too familiar yet too new for Taeyong.

They danced in silence, some catchy pop song playing. Taeyong didn’t look at Jaehyun, but Jaehyun kept staring at him. It was awkward. It felt right and wrong at the same time.

“Do you enjoy the party?” Jaehyun asked out of courtesy. Taeyong finally looked at him and he regretted it immediately.

“Yes, I do. Congratulations, by the way. I didn’t get a chance to say it sooner.” Taeyong tried to sound as polite as he could. Jaehyun nodded and smiled the same way he smiled years ago.

“I hope Doyoung didn’t upset you. He is quite straightforward and says everything he thinks of.”

“No, he actually didn’t.” Taeyong wasn’t lying. Doyoung didn’t upset him. He actually made him realize a thing or two. “I’m sorry Jaehyun.”

“Oh? What for?” Jaehyun frowned and stopped dancing. Taeyong took a step back and smiled softly. He fixed Jaehyun’s tie and placed his hands on his chest for a second. Then Taeyong put them behind his back and smiled to himself as if he remembered an old joke.

“For accusing you of cheating. I tried to hold on to something that was made to fall apart sooner or later. I wanted to hurt you. I’m sorry for it. You have no idea how happy I am that you found your everlasting love and you got married.” Jaehyun smiled sadly but happily at the same time. Maybe that was the way one smiled when he was faced the ghosts of his past. “Thank you for inviting me. I guess it’s our chance for a proper closure.”

“I guess you are right.” Jaehyun finally said and looked somewhere behind Taeyong. Taeyong didn’t mind. He wouldn’t mind if Jaehyun ran to his husband without finishing this conversation. “And thank you. For coming, I mean. It means a lot to me.”

“It means a lot to me that you invited me.” Taeyong said honestly and for a second they looked into each other’s eyes. “Go to him.”

“Are you sure?” Jaehyun sounded worried and Taeyong just laughed quietly at this. Nodding his head, he smiled and left Jaehyun on the dance floor. Taeyong peeped behind his shoulder and smiled when he saw Jaehyun and Doyoung laughing and dancing.

Taeyong went to Yuta and Sorn and told them he was heading home. Yuta seemed worried but Sorn nodded her head and told him to be safe. He promised to do so and he left without saying goodbye to anyone else.

The sky was full of stars and air was cold, but it was good kind of coldness. Taeyong needed it. He smiled, walking slowly. He got a closure with Jaehyun. He was at ease. Still in pain, with feelings he thought were love, but at least he was at peace with his past.

Taeyong stopped walking, looked behind himself and smiled sadly.

He remembered the days he spent crying after Jaehyun. He remembered how Yuta tried to collect Taeyong’s broken pieces. He remembered the words Yuta told him.

_Not every love story gets a happy ending._

And it was true. Taeyong and Jaehyun didn’t get a happy ending. Jaehyun and Doyoung got one. Taeyong was thankful for that.

Taeyong hoped to get a happy ending with someone else as well.

But for that moment he had to let go of the past and say goodbye even if no one listened to him.

“Jung Yoonoh, boy who I loved, love and will probably love for a while. I let us go. Be happy. I hope I never see you again.” Taeyong felt the wind blew his hair and he smiled, feeling emptiness and pain in his heart. The weight of guilt was finally gone. Taeyong really let go.

All those feelings, pain mixed with emptiness, happiness and fear were refreshing. Maybe that’s how everyone felt when they let go of something they tried to hold on for too long.

Taeyong looked at the sky one more time and headed home.

It was an end to their unhappy love story.

**Author's Note:**

> [cc](https://curiouscat.me/caffes97)   
>  [twitter](https://twitter.com/caffes97)

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [our days](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21283337) by [floweryoonoh](https://archiveofourown.org/users/floweryoonoh/pseuds/floweryoonoh)




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